ALWAYS TRY NOT TO HURT A PERSON'S CONFIDENCE.

ALWAYS TRY NOT TO HURT A PERSON'S CONFIDENCE 

 Our words have an effect on the people we speak to.

 Whether they are our family members, friends, classmates, church members, neighbours, colleagues, or others, 

our words can either give people the confidence to try again, do better, and keep growing—or make them afraid to try at all. 

 Let us therefore always try not to hurt a person's confidence.

 When someone makes a mistake, we should be careful about how we respond.

 Instead of saying, 

"You never understand anything," or "You never do anything right,"

 we can say, "Let us look at this again. Where do you think things went wrong?" 

 The goal should be to correct the behaviour, decision, or action—not to condemn the person. 

 CORRECT WITHOUT HUMILIATING.

  Our general attitude and purpose should never be to shame or humiliate other people. That is neither constructive nor loving. 

Our aim should be to help the other person become better and learn how to do things the right way. 

 Where possible, correct a person privately rather than embarrassing them in front of others. 

Listen attentively. 

Do not shout. 

Give the person an opportunity to explain what happened. 

 Instead of saying: 

 "You are always careless." 

 Say:

 "I know you can do better. Let us see what went wrong." 

 Instead of:

 "You are weak in this area." 

 Say: 

 "This is an area where you can improve."

 Instead of: 

"You are careless." 

 Say: "Try taking more care next time." 

 These may seem like small differences in words, but words can leave a lasting impression on a person's mind and heart.

 CORRECTION IS NOT CONDEMNATION.

  There is an important difference between correcting someone and condemning them. 

 Correction says:

 "What you did was not right. Let us identify what went wrong and find a better way to do it." 

 Condemnation says: 

 "There is something wrong with you. You are hopeless, careless, useless, or incapable." 

 Correction focuses on behaviour, decisions, and actions. 

Condemnation turns a person's mistake into a judgment about their identity and worth. 

 For example: 

 Wrong : "You never get anything right."

 Right : "This part needs to be corrected. I believe you can improve it." 

 Wrong : 

"What is wrong with you?" 

Right: 

"What happened here? Help me understand, and let us work out how to do it better."

 Wrong : 

"You are incapable." 

Right : 

"This may be difficult for you at the moment, but with practice you can improve." 

 A person may have made a mistake without being a mistake. 

 A person may have failed without being a failure.

 A person may have done something wrong without being worthless. 

 OUR WORDS CAN BECOME AN INNER VOICE.

  We should remember that the words we repeatedly speak to people can become part of the way they see themselves.

 A child who is constantly told, "You are useless," may eventually begin to believe it.

 A worker who is continually told, "You can never do anything right,"

 may eventually lose the courage to try. 

A student who is repeatedly reminded of their weaknesses may become afraid of making another attempt.

 But encouragement can have the opposite effect.

 "Try again." 

 "I know you can improve." 

 "Let us work on this together."

 "You made a mistake, but you can learn from it." 

 "I believe you can do better."

 Such words can help build confidence, courage, resilience, and a willingness to keep learning.

 This does not mean that we should ignore wrongdoing or avoid difficult conversations. 

People need correction, accountability, and sometimes firm boundaries. 

• But firmness does not require humiliation, 

• And accountability does not require destroying a person's dignity.

 BIBLICAL CORRECTION SHOULD RESTORE AND BUILD.

The Bible gives us a beautiful principle for correcting others: 

 "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently." — Galatians 6:1 

 Notice the word "restore." The purpose is not to crush the person but to help them return to the right path. 

 Paul also says:

 "Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." — Ephesians 4:15

 Truth is necessary, but it should be spoken in love.

 Love should not prevent us from telling the truth, 

and truth should not become an excuse for cruelty. 

 Jesus similarly taught that when a serious matter must be addressed between believers, the first step should be private:

 "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you." — Matthew 18:15 

 This gives us an important principle: correction should seek improvement, while condemnation seeks to pronounce judgment on the person. 

 LET US HELP PEOPLE BELIEVE THEY CAN GROW.

  In our families, churches, schools, workplaces, communities, and friendships, let us become people who help others develop confidence, courage, responsibility, and the attitude that they can learn, improve, and make progress in life. 

 Let our words communicate: 

 "What happened needs to change—but you are still valuable." 

 "You made a mistake—but you can learn from it." 

 "You did not do this well—but you can improve." 

 "Let us identify what went wrong and find a better way." 

 We should correct mistakes without destroying confidence. 

 We should tell the truth without humiliating people. 

 We should hold people accountable without treating them as worthless. 

 And whenever possible, let our correction leave the person thinking: 

 "I need to do better—and I believe I can." 

 That is the kind of correction that can produce accountability without humiliation, truth without cruelty, and growth without destroying confidence. 

 Our words can become the inner voice that shatters a person—or the voice that encourages them to:

rise,

 try again, 

believe in themselves, 

and become better. 

Let us choose our words carefully. 

 Elijah Mutua Kirima.

 Pastor and Social Worker 

THE WORD OF GOD IS THE WILL OF GOD.