ALWAYS TRY NOT TO HURT A PERSON'S CONFIDENCE.

ALWAYS TRY NOT TO HURT A PERSON'S CONFIDENCE 

 Our words have an effect on the people we speak to.

 Whether they are our family members, friends, classmates, church members, neighbours, colleagues, or others, 

our words can either give people the confidence to try again, do better, and keep growing—or make them afraid to try at all. 

 Let us therefore always try not to hurt a person's confidence.

 When someone makes a mistake, we should be careful about how we respond.

 Instead of saying, 

"You never understand anything," or "You never do anything right,"

 we can say, "Let us look at this again. Where do you think things went wrong?" 

 The goal should be to correct the behaviour, decision, or action—not to condemn the person. 

 CORRECT WITHOUT HUMILIATING.

  Our general attitude and purpose should never be to shame or humiliate other people. That is neither constructive nor loving. 

Our aim should be to help the other person become better and learn how to do things the right way. 

 Where possible, correct a person privately rather than embarrassing them in front of others. 

Listen attentively. 

Do not shout. 

Give the person an opportunity to explain what happened. 

 Instead of saying: 

 "You are always careless." 

 Say:

 "I know you can do better. Let us see what went wrong." 

 Instead of:

 "You are weak in this area." 

 Say: 

 "This is an area where you can improve."

 Instead of: 

"You are careless." 

 Say: "Try taking more care next time." 

 These may seem like small differences in words, but words can leave a lasting impression on a person's mind and heart.

 CORRECTION IS NOT CONDEMNATION.

  There is an important difference between correcting someone and condemning them. 

 Correction says:

 "What you did was not right. Let us identify what went wrong and find a better way to do it." 

 Condemnation says: 

 "There is something wrong with you. You are hopeless, careless, useless, or incapable." 

 Correction focuses on behaviour, decisions, and actions. 

Condemnation turns a person's mistake into a judgment about their identity and worth. 

 For example: 

 Wrong : "You never get anything right."

 Right : "This part needs to be corrected. I believe you can improve it." 

 Wrong : 

"What is wrong with you?" 

Right: 

"What happened here? Help me understand, and let us work out how to do it better."

 Wrong : 

"You are incapable." 

Right : 

"This may be difficult for you at the moment, but with practice you can improve." 

 A person may have made a mistake without being a mistake. 

 A person may have failed without being a failure.

 A person may have done something wrong without being worthless. 

 OUR WORDS CAN BECOME AN INNER VOICE.

  We should remember that the words we repeatedly speak to people can become part of the way they see themselves.

 A child who is constantly told, "You are useless," may eventually begin to believe it.

 A worker who is continually told, "You can never do anything right,"

 may eventually lose the courage to try. 

A student who is repeatedly reminded of their weaknesses may become afraid of making another attempt.

 But encouragement can have the opposite effect.

 "Try again." 

 "I know you can improve." 

 "Let us work on this together."

 "You made a mistake, but you can learn from it." 

 "I believe you can do better."

 Such words can help build confidence, courage, resilience, and a willingness to keep learning.

 This does not mean that we should ignore wrongdoing or avoid difficult conversations. 

People need correction, accountability, and sometimes firm boundaries. 

• But firmness does not require humiliation, 

• And accountability does not require destroying a person's dignity.

 BIBLICAL CORRECTION SHOULD RESTORE AND BUILD.

The Bible gives us a beautiful principle for correcting others: 

 "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently." — Galatians 6:1 

 Notice the word "restore." The purpose is not to crush the person but to help them return to the right path. 

 Paul also says:

 "Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." — Ephesians 4:15

 Truth is necessary, but it should be spoken in love.

 Love should not prevent us from telling the truth, 

and truth should not become an excuse for cruelty. 

 Jesus similarly taught that when a serious matter must be addressed between believers, the first step should be private:

 "If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you." — Matthew 18:15 

 This gives us an important principle: correction should seek improvement, while condemnation seeks to pronounce judgment on the person. 

 LET US HELP PEOPLE BELIEVE THEY CAN GROW.

  In our families, churches, schools, workplaces, communities, and friendships, let us become people who help others develop confidence, courage, responsibility, and the attitude that they can learn, improve, and make progress in life. 

 Let our words communicate: 

 "What happened needs to change—but you are still valuable." 

 "You made a mistake—but you can learn from it." 

 "You did not do this well—but you can improve." 

 "Let us identify what went wrong and find a better way." 

 We should correct mistakes without destroying confidence. 

 We should tell the truth without humiliating people. 

 We should hold people accountable without treating them as worthless. 

 And whenever possible, let our correction leave the person thinking: 

 "I need to do better—and I believe I can." 

 That is the kind of correction that can produce accountability without humiliation, truth without cruelty, and growth without destroying confidence. 

 Our words can become the inner voice that shatters a person—or the voice that encourages them to:

rise,

 try again, 

believe in themselves, 

and become better. 

Let us choose our words carefully. 

 Elijah Mutua Kirima.

 Pastor and Social Worker 

THE WORD OF GOD IS THE WILL OF GOD.

HEALING FROM THE EFFECTS OF POVERTY AND PRACTICAL STEPS OUT OF IT.

 

HEALING FROM THE EFFECTS OF POVERTY AND PRACTICAL STEPS OUT OF POVERTY

Childhood poverty can leave effects that continue into adulthood. Persistent economic hardship may affect education, health, psychological well-being, confidence, decision-making, relationships and access to opportunities. Financial scarcity and chronic stress can consume mental and emotional resources, making it more difficult to plan, solve problems and make sound decisions.

Poverty can also become intergenerational. Children growing up in disadvantaged circumstances may inherit not poverty itself, but circumstances that make poverty more likely: limited education, weak social networks, poor health, restricted opportunities, harmful experiences and patterns of thinking or behaviour developed in difficult environments.

HEALING FROM THE EFFECTS OF POVERTY

Healing therefore has to go deeper than putting food on the table. People need their dignity, hope, confidence and capacity to make decisions restored.

The Bible teaches that God is concerned with the whole person. Jesus came to proclaim good news to the poor and freedom to those who are oppressed (Luke 4:18). Scripture also calls believers to renew their minds rather than remain prisoners of old patterns (Romans 12:2).

A person who has grown up hearing, “You can never amount to anything,” may need more than financial assistance. They may need encouragement, education, counselling, mentoring, healthy relationships and opportunities to discover that their circumstances do not have to determine their future.

This does not mean blaming people for poverty. Neither does it mean pretending that poverty is simply a matter of attitude. Poverty can be produced and reinforced by circumstances beyond an individual's control. But human beings can learn, change and grow. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to guard the heart, while Proverbs 24:3–4 connects a flourishing household with wisdom, knowledge and understanding.

Healing may therefore involve breaking harmful beliefs, developing healthy habits, dealing with trauma and chronic stress, rebuilding relationships, learning to make decisions, and recovering hope. The goal is not merely to survive poverty but to become capable of building a different future.

PRACTICAL STEPS OUT OF POVERTY

Healing should be accompanied by practical action. Faith does not call us merely to pray for change while refusing to take responsible steps. James 2:15–17 reminds us that genuine faith responds to practical human needs.

Education and useful skills are important because they can increase access to employment and income-generating opportunities. Financial literacy can help people learn budgeting, saving, responsible borrowing, managing risk and making informed financial decisions. Proverbs 21:5 teaches the value of diligent planning.

People also need opportunities, not merely advice. Skills training should be connected to actual markets, employment, entrepreneurship and productive work. Where possible, people should be connected to employers, customers, mentors, professional networks and institutions that can open doors.

Social connections matter. A person may have ability but lack information, recommendation, mentorship or access to opportunity. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 reminds us of the strength that comes when people work together.

Families and communities can therefore become bridges to opportunity. Churches and community organizations can provide mentorship, counselling, skills development, networking, small livelihood initiatives and referrals to employment and markets.

FROM RELIEF TO RESTORATION

There is a place for emergency assistance—food, shelter, healthcare and other immediate needs. But compassionate service should, wherever possible, move from relief to recovery, from recovery to empowerment, and from empowerment to sustainable independence.

The biblical picture is not of people remaining permanently dependent upon others. It is of people being restored to dignity, responsibility, productive work and the ability to contribute to the well-being of others (Ephesians 4:28; 2 Thessalonians 3:10–12).

Breaking the effects of poverty therefore requires both healing and opportunity: healing the wounds that poverty may have produced and creating practical pathways through which people can learn, work, earn, save, build, participate and eventually help others.

One person's restoration can become another person's opportunity. The person who was once helped may eventually become the person who helps another.

Poverty may influence a person's beginning, but it does not have to determine the whole story. With God's grace, wise choices, supportive relationships, knowledge, skills and genuine opportunities, individuals, families and communities can move from survival toward dignity, stability and productive participation in society.

ELIJAH MUTUA KIRIMA
Pastor and Social Worker
THE WORD OF GOD IS THE WILL OF GOD.

THE GREATEST MISSING INGREDIENT: LOVE

THE GREATEST MISSING INGREDIENT: LOVE 

 Perhaps one of the greatest things lacking in our world is not knowledge, money, technology, or resources, but love—the kind of love that makes us genuinely care about other people, their property, their needs, their dignity, and their future.

 Many everyday problems—waste, neglect, exploitation, indifference, conflict, and injustice—are ultimately connected to a shortage of genuine love and the failure to treat what belongs to others, and other people themselves, with the same care we expect for ourselves. 

 Consider some of the simple issues of love that people struggle with every day: 

 When it is not yours—perhaps a rented car, a rented house, or another item—how do you use it? How much do you care for it? Simple things like firewood you did not go to collect, electricity and water you did not pay for, food you did not buy, and other household items you did not purchase: do you handle them with the same care you would if you had bought them with your own money? 

 Office equipment and public utilities: do you care for them as much as you would care for what belongs personally to you? 

 The way you treat others: is it the way you would want to be treated if you were in their circumstances? 

 When others fail or make mistakes, how do you feel about them, and how do you handle them? Is it exactly how you would want to be handled if you were the one who failed? 

 When you are in need, how would you love to be treated? And when others are in need, how do you treat them?

 Internationally, when we say, “my country” and “my citizens,” do we also care about people of other countries and treat them with the dignity, fairness, and concern that we expect for ourselves? 

 Perhaps the most urgent issue before humanity is therefore the love issue. 

 If we genuinely loved our neighbours, we would care about what belongs to them. 

We would care about public resources. 

We would not rejoice in another person's failure.

 We would show compassion when someone is in need. 

We would seek justice not only for ourselves, but also for others. 

We would extend the same concern beyond our families, communities, and nations. 

 Love does not merely mean having good feelings toward people. Love changes how we behave toward them. 

 Jesus gave us a simple principle that could transform families, workplaces, communities, nations, and international relations: 

 “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” — Luke 6:31

 Perhaps what our world needs most is not another complicated formula, but a return to this simple command: love others as we would want to be loved, and treat others as we would want to be treated. 

 The greatest missing ingredient may be love—and the greatest opportunity for change may begin with each one of us. 

 ~ Elijah Mutua Kirima

 Pastor and Social Worker

 THE WORD OF GOD IS THE WILL OF GOD.